Categories
Uncategorized

How Do You Heal and Grow After a Suicide Attempt?

The Attempt

I had just woken up in the hospital after a suicide attempt and my mind was racing with warring emotions and thoughts.

“How am I still here?” 

“What the hell was I thinking?”

Gurney view in the hospital

THE HOSPITALS

My physical well-being was the first thing to check. I was extremely fortunate after I took 100 Propranolol pills that I was back to normal after just a few hours in the hospital.  No violent tremors or vision problems like I had after I first swallowed them.  Just a dawning realization that I’d made a huge mistake that would have a lot of ramifications. 

Hospital bed

I promised my wife I would never try to kill myself and I had broken that vow.   My daughter witnessed the immediate after-effects of the overdose and would be scarred forever by what I did.  All that I could think was that I had to spend the rest of my life making it up to my family.

After two days in the hospital I was transferred to a Mental hospital for a week.  I learned a lot in group therapy about coping mechanisms, but the main thing I got from it was determination.  Determination to do everything I could to fight the anxiety and depression so that I would never end up hurting myself again.

RECOVERY

My plan for recovery entailed three main parts:

  1. Twice weekly therapy where we would focus on building my self-esteem up and ways to cope with anxiety.
  2. Lots of cardio exercise, as I knew that eased my depression more than any medication did.
  3. Positive thinking.

Over the last 3 and a half months, I have kept up with my plan and haven’t had any suicidal thoughts.  I have grown more confident and gained some control over my anxiety.  The exercise has proven hard to keep up with, but I will continue to make it a priority.  Positivity is something I value highly and I strive each day to stay positive through life’s many stressors.   While still a work-in-progress, I am living proof that you can rebound from a suicide attempt.

In a crisis, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 800-273-8255 or text “NAMI” to 741741

By jebrownwriter

Houston, TX-based Writer and Photographer. Proud pet rescuer who spends nearly all his money on them.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s