The whir of the weed eater did nothing to calm her nerves. The neighbor was forever working on his yard, as if nothing else mattered. She needed to think about how to get out of this hole, even as her brain betrayed her with so many dark thoughts.

Life moved too fast for her, in addition to having rules she never understood. She was out of touch with most people and truly out of sync with the rush to perform and produce that seemed to be their way of life. She didn’t want to fit in, but to find a sincere reason to get up each morning.

She was still young, at thirty-four, but didn’t feel any joy and she couldn’t go on with this numbness. She wasn’t entitled to happiness-no one was-but she wanted at least a taste of it before she died. Maybe it would be a romance or some unexpected creative burst? She did not really care what form it came in, just that she had enough of it to know that she had the potential for it in her and she wasn’t destined for an empty life.

© 2021 Jeff E. Brown. All rights reserved.

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