Sometimes, all I want is to observe you. Not spying, but watching you without us having to talk: about how we feel, about the kids or the terrible state of the world. We can feel without a dialogue. We do it reflexively, so why not give into it and just absorb the silence and let me look at you? You can continue working on the laptop or doodling. It doesn’t matter to me-it’s not for me to dictate what you do. I’m only asking for a favor.
I suppose that I’ve become out of touch with myself in a way. That means I’m not connecting with you and I noticed the other day how much I appreciated looking at you. Without expectations.
Noticing the way you touch your face, along your left cheek, every time you sit down to check your email. How lovely and unguarded you are first thing in the morning when you are still a little out of it and your hair shoots out all over the place.
I don’t know if registers on my face or even in my voice, but I am lonely. I miss being with you and the person I am when we are truly together. So please don’t mind me over here in the corner, letting your glow wash over me.
© 2021 Jeff E. Brown. All rights reserved.
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