This isn’t like the last time we talked about my looks. I am being honest here. I’m sixty pounds overweight and it needs to come off. My head looks like an overinflated balloon. Jowls and neck fat. I was skinny for forty years, then I got so depressed and I tried to fill the hole by eating anything in sight and sleeping the rest of my time away. Shock of shocks, it didn’t help and now I feel even worse. Turns out you should never ask yourself if things can get worse because the thinking part of your brain already knows the answer.

When I have to look in the mirror, I try to look through it-I look at my eyes because that’s the only part I still like. Green with flecks of brown and, surprisingly, a bit of sparkle. I hope that sparkle is a sign of life because I need something to latch onto right now. I am a flabby shell of a man and I must find a way to believe in myself. How do you do it?

© 2021 Jeff E. Brown. All rights reserved.

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