“I feel like there’s nothing left to live for because I don’t enjoy anything. I know it’s not the answer you wanted, or even expected, because it’s only a question people ask offhandedly, but it just so happens that I know exactly how I feel and I’m ready to share. You see, I’ve tried medications, I’ve talked to ’professionals’, I practice self-care-all of the right things, yes? But none of it helps because for some reason I still can’t find pleasure in anything that I used to find fun. Maybe it would help if my girlfriend would have sex with me, but we’ll probably never know.”

“The underlying issue is obviously the depression and the way it manifests in me is this merciless hole of nothingness. I am so exhausted, just drained of energy and life and ambition. I am so disengaged that I can’t believe I am even talking to you right now. My friends, the few that I have, pretty much gave up on me years ago. Nobody wants to be around me and I prefer solitude myself, so that is my routine. I am trapped and I don’t know how to go on another single fucking day.”

© 2021 Jeff E. Brown. All rights reserved.

By jebrownwriter

Houston, TX-based Writer and Photographer. Proud pet rescuer who spends nearly all his money on them.

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