The bedsheets swayed in the breeze, lined up in the backyard with careful spacing by his mother. She was diligent and particular about almost everything in her daily routine, except for affection. There was never enough of it and when it came it seemed forced and insincere.
He wanted to feel loved, but it was important that it be real and he wouldn’t have even thought this was necessary if he didn’t have his mother as the example. Despite this flaw, Stefan couldn’t help but love her in return. He hoped one day she’d magically wake up and realize how much he loved her and whisk him off for a special day where they did all of his favorite things.
Of course, this never happened and as he grew older the expectations went away and he looked for affirmation through work and the company of adoring women. He couldn’t quite see that they weren’t so much adoring as accommodating, but in the end it was the sex he craved and that was what slowly did him in.
He spent his twenties going from bed to bed wondering why the sex left him feeling empty. It wasn’t until he stopped trying to use women that he finally met someone different. Ronit was open and caring-she disarmed him so effortlessly that it was obvious to him that she was what he was waiting for. He didn’t push and took whatever she offered because it was sincere and fulfilling. He felt at ease and comforted just being in her presence. He was loved.
© 2021 Jeff E. Brown. All rights reserved.
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