Notice how we remember things the way we want? Subconsciously or not, we skew them in our minds. What I don’t get is that I’m always the negative hole at the center of the scenes that I replay. Am I that awful person in those scenes? Is that me?

I suspect that I am. Why else are my memories always refracted through this black prism? My brain is telling me the truth I don’t want to swallow. This is why my own kids shun me. It is not because my ex has poisoned them-I did that all by myself.

I know I’m bipolar, but that doesn’t excuse my behavior over these past few years. I’m taking medications, I am seeing a therapist and I want to get better, but will there be anyone there to welcome me if I do conquer it?

© 2021 Jeff E. Brown. All rights reserved.

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