I used to play tennis-I really liked it, but that doesn’t matter now. You asked what I enjoy doing when I’m not working and I don’t have an answer, other than I like to sleep. It’s the only break from my waking world and I sleep as much as I possibly can. You understand why, now that I’ve spent hours detailing my history, I would find sleep as my refuge, right? Nothing helps me cope with life, but being able to escape it with naps is something I have to do. No drugs, nor all of this talking, have helped me feel one drop better.
My wife accuses me of giving in every time I crawl in bed and maybe I am, but how do I win when the enemy is my mind: my feelings, my thoughts. All of the horrendous dread and the utter lack of joy. How do I beat that? Is there a mantra or a book with all the steps I should take? Sure, I bet I know what it is. A YouTube channel chock full of pithy self-helps tips that will straighten me out in thirty days.
Don’t look at me like that. You’re not supposed to judge and your eyes are definitely judging me. Don’t try to deny it. You enjoy feeling superior to me. Intellectually and emotionally superior because you can cope with the modern world and all of the stress and expectations. Good for you. Drive home in your Lexus and let the heated seats add to your satisfaction. I will take the bus.
© 2021 Jeff E. Brown. All rights reserved.