You told me you didn’t expect anything from me, but I never believed that. Not even for a second, despite the fact that I said the same back to you. We all have expectations, even when we think we’re being very grownup and mature by stating otherwise. We mistakenly feel it will somehow insulate us from the pain of caring and then losing the one we love.

So they were just words- syllables strung together that made a sound- a sound we hushed as soon as our lips met. That is what counted. The heat, the desire and the rush of those glorious few days when it was brand new and exciting. Nothing can negate the way we felt back then.

I don’t know where you are today. I asked an old mutual friend if she’d heard from you and she said she thought you were in Chicago or maybe Milwaukee. I wish I’d never had any expectations, then there wouldn’t be this ache I feel every time I remember your smile.

© 2021 Jeff E. Brown. All rights reserved.

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