Powdered remains of the ground-up pills.
The lights still on as the daylight streams.
I blink, but can’t focus,
I’m in too much pain.
I cannot steady myself or lay still.

Barely enough time for hindsight,
But regardless it’s clear.
I fucked up and I’m broken.
The fact I’m alive
Proves my buried desire to fight.

Despair swallowed time and again
As I shoveled in the meds
I hoped would stop my heart.
It turns out this is not the end,
But the shadow in which new life begins.

© 2022 Jeff E. Brown. All rights reserved.

In a crisis? Call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 800-273-8255 or text “NAMI” to 741741.

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