essay
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Your Voice
Lunatics, madmen, crazies. Pejoratives thrown around to denigrate people we think don’t deserve dignity or respect, much less a cursory attempt at understanding. I’ve known so many who have been slammed by these words and much worse, but they persevere through the insults and the misfiring neurons in their brains. They fight to live another…
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Misfire
I was recently diagnosed with Small Fiber Neuropathy. Small fiber neuropathy occurs when the small fibers of the peripheral nervous system are damaged. Small fibers in the skin relay sensory information about pain and temperature. What this means for me is that my feet experience a very odd sensory combination of tingling, burning, numbness and…
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Happy Birthday
Life is filled with misery, dread and loneliness. There’s no joy, pleasure or satisfaction. It is something to exist, but merely breathing and waking to do the next day’s empty tasks is not my idea of a life. Existing only to get a paycheck to pay the bills until the next paycheck, is not a…
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Who You Know
It’s hard to explain suicide to anyone, including yourself. It’s not really about ending your life. It’s about putting a stop to the torrent of sadness, despair, trauma and self-hate. All of that and more, or maybe less. But you don’t need a grab-bag of feelings to justify it in your head. Just one of…
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Yiddishland
We roam on a contaminated landscape.The dust and the bonesOf the martyrsStirred in with the buildings and townsThat came afterwards.Paying no heed to the violenceAnd the traumaCarried out on a peopleWho never really had a home.No matter how long they lived with you.No matter if they fought your battles.Always the other.Forever the scapegoat. You pray…
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Not That You Asked
We doggedly chase happiness. People say that is what life is about. Happiness is not a state of existence or a way of being. Life is about overcoming disappointments. Coping with trauma and tragedy. At best, you get fleeting joy randomly sprinkled in amongst the tedium of work and the parade of banalities. Little breaks…
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Beauty
Most of society would agree that all beauty lies with the young, or perhaps, in nature or art. It’s a narrow view that has evidence to support it, but I’d say beauty can exist in anyone or anything simply because it is all dependent on perspective. So often our perspective is filtered only through the…
Writing and Photography by Jeff E. Brown 