self-esteem
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The Walls Are Deaf, But They Know What You’re Thinking
The one thing you have in abundance in a mental hospital is time. Time to think. An omnipresent clock in the common room to remind you of all of the time left until the next group activity for you to sit and think. Always time to think, which isn’t good for nearly every single beaten…
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The Dirty Work
You can throw all of the pills down the drain. It makes for a moment of defiance, of clarity. But does it change the underlying cause? Do you have a plan beyond turning on the disposal and feeling a bit better about yourself? Because now the hardest part comes in: talking about the dread and…
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Your Voice
Lunatics, madmen, crazies. Pejoratives thrown around to denigrate people we think don’t deserve dignity or respect, much less a cursory attempt at understanding. I’ve known so many who have been slammed by these words and much worse, but they persevere through the insults and the misfiring neurons in their brains. They fight to live another…
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Better Off
It does not matter that she doesn’t care for you any longer. You have your job, your friends and self-respect. You’re life doesn’t hinge on her affections. They were a bonus, a pleasure, but as her love waned, so did the ability for it to hurt you. You’ll be fine. © 2022 Jeff E. Brown.…
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Long Way Back
Inside the endless nightI’m prisoner to the poisonous waysDepression has to take rootAnd blackout your days. Insidious and random,The victims are too many to count.Discovering at some dreadful pointThis disorder, this jail, won’t let you out. Giving in to the immense black hollowIs easy and sometimes we do.I’ll try to come back,To be the person…
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Don’t Ask
Don’t ask what I’ve done.The list is too longAnd the answer helps no one. Acts of desperation and shame,Though maybe I’m not the best judge.But more than enough to warrant the blame. You can’t hurt me moreThan I already have. I’m brutal.I punish and punish like never before. I try to be open to warmth…
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Blossom
Clinging, but to what?And why?Perhaps it is just an instinctFormed long ago, deep inside.I don’t want to be here.But lack the will and directionTo do what needs to be done.To make the necessary decision.Weakness and fearClutter my mind.Parked alongside so many bleak thoughtsAnd feelings I can’t leave behind.What loitersAnd loomsWill stay in the shadowContinuing to…
Writing and Photography by Jeff E. Brown 